


hair dye 2.0

by yijeong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Hair Dyeing, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Break Up, shitty coping mechanisms, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:56:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21518548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yijeong/pseuds/yijeong
Summary: with bleach and cheap box dye and new piercings, donghyuck hopes to forget anything mark ever said about him.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	hair dye 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a better rewrite of my fic, hair dye, sorry haha. can u tell im going through it again. u can see the references to my other fic but i wanted to rewrite it just to get used to writing once more n my heart feels dead. not proofread, sorry. i love u all

donghyuck hates endings; the endings of movies, the ending of a novel he invested himself in, the ending of an art project he poured his heart into. he thinks the inevitable ending of his and mark’s takes the cake though, the creme de la creme of endings, the one that sits at the tippity top of his shitty, neverending list.

he wants to say something so badly and thinks he finally understands what people say when they tell someone their unsaid words are trapped in their throat, almost choking them. it’s in no way hard for a functioning person to pick up a phone and shoot a text, but when you’re a lanky teenage korean boy who’s wearing fresh heartbreak like a badge contemplating sending a text to a could-be ex who’s contact name you never bothered to change, maybe it is a bit.

maybe if he really wanted to, he could. he could pick up his phone, open whatsapp, and shoot the simplest of hellos.

but he wants to protect himself, it’s the only rational thing to do in this situation. there’s no guarantee that mark feels as torn up inside as he does. the mere thought of rejection is enough to send a fresh wave of hurt over him, and his hands can’t stop shaking as he pulls the strings of his hoodie tighter. 

the ending was expected, but not welcome. mark breaks things off with donghyuck through a short text, and he doesn’t know whether to feel hurt that he couldn’t at least call to say the painful words, or to laugh in some morbid way because he knew it was coming. 

little explanation is offered other than mark couldn’t stand donghyuck’s childish demeanor anymore, couldn’t stand feeling the way he did. oh, but don’t get him wrong, he still loved the younger deeply.

a bitter feeling fills up donghyuck’s mouth and he almost wants to run to the toilet and vomit, but he swallows it down. of course, it was his fault things went sour like usual, wasn’t it? it was always donghyuck who was immature, always him who didn’t want to make any changes, always his feelings that didn’t matter. was he protecting himself from the start? possibly, but he couldn’t find himself feeling bad for himself. he likes familiarity and the safety it provided.

but the familiarity is too comfortable now, so two days after his least favorite ending thus far, donghyuck bleaches his hair from chocolate brown to a honey blonde. it took more hours than he wanted for the dark strands to be stripped of his color and his hair is left feeling damaged and tangled, but for the first time in days he lets the smallest of smiles settle upon his face.

mark really used to love his hair, loved how it was always soft and naturally a bit curly, falling just below his eyes. whenever they cuddled in bed together, lost in their own universe, mark would gently run his fingers through his lover’s hair, occasionally letting out soft whispers of ‘i love you.’  
but now donghyuck’s hair is blonde, and when he tries to mimic the way the older would card through his hair, his fingers get stuck in the process, pretending to ignore the fresh wave of heartbreak washing over hin.

it wasn’t enough of a change though, he felt the intense urge to do something more. he could go full white, or he could go a shade of purple. the same shade of purple that would paint his skin after the rough nights he used to have with mark that lingered on his skin and made him hide in shame under hoodies.

to go lighter without ruining his hair, he’d have to go professional, but he’s a broke teenager with no steady source of income, so purple it is. after some time spent rummaging through the hallway closet, he finds a half empty bottle of some cheap violet dye, and without wasting any time he changes once again. the color looks cheap against his skin and reminds him of his regretful middle school days, but he feels a sense of satisfaction buried in his chest. as long as mark can’t recognize him from behind, maybe things will be okay again.

he was wrong, deep down he thinks that things will never be okay again, but at least he can pretend. so he deactivates his twitter accounts, deletes whatsapp, and disappears off of social media, one of the last ties connecting him to his last love.

donghyuck often wishes things in life had a refresh button, or that things would be shut down and start up brand new like a laptop did when you held the power button down for too long. unfortunately, things never work out in his favor, and that’s nothing more than a far away impossibility. 

he changes things, and changes them again for good measure, stuck in a rinse-repeat cycle, and nothing gets better. mark is happier without him, out to concerts and doing all the things he couldn’t with donghyuck holding him back, while the latter clings onto the things mark hasn’t picked up yet, the hoodies and all the little notes, hoping he forgets to ever come pick them up, or at least hopes mark will at least let him keep them all to remember him by.

with bleach and cheap box dye and new piercings, donghyuck hopes to forget anything mark ever said about him.


End file.
